Amazing World of Writing!!

I really want to do this, but wait hold back -- they’re going to laugh at me. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you hold back your emotions, thoughts, and/or actions just because of other people? Have you ever felt that you weren’t good enough to reach other peoples expected standards? If you answered yes to these questions then you definitely need help.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, major depression affects 15 million American adults and teenagers. This is most likely a result of one’s fear of rejection. So the next question is how do you deal with all types of rejection in your life? Instead of paying money for therapy, maybe this article can help you.

Defined by Merriam-Webster, rejection is to “refuse to accept, consider, submit to, take for some purpose, or use.” Here are some examples of rejection and good alternatives to deal with them:

“Long ago when I was in seventh grade, I was an innocent child and then I saw this girl. When I first saw her it felt like it was Romeo & Juliet (a play being read in his class), love at first site. What I did was try to get her to love me. I did this in many ways, I tried to flatter her but it didn’t work. I now feel stupid, rejected, unwanted, and I feel like it was something I dedicated a lot of time to and failed. I feel like the phrase ‘you can get anything you want if you try’, is wrong.”

-Jonathan Dodo, Joseph B. Cavallaro

My Advice: Obviously the girl didn’t feel the same way. Are you sure it was love at first site or just infactuation? When you know the girl does not feel the same way it’s time to move on. Flattery doesn’t always work with girls and maybe your just not her type. Do not try to change yourself in any circumstances because that’s not the correct way to deal with things. Many people probably told you that you need to move on, and they’re right. You probably won’t get over her in a day, but wait and do other things to occupy your mind and take your mind off of her.

Rejected by Parents/Family:

“I feel rejected by my parents at time. Everythings focused to their time and not my time. I feel as if I’m not important to them. Only when I reached my teenage years did I feel this way. They should just trust me more instead of hassling me about almost everything. Sometimes I’d be on the computer minding my own business on Youtube. My parents would just come out of no where and bother me. I think I need my own freedom and they’re just using me just to control me.”

-John Lolipp, Joseph B. Cavallaro

My Advice: Are you sure that’s their intention? You may want to talk to your parents about this before you take drastic measures. Sometimes, they just want to communicate with you and they may sound like a “nag.” During teenage years many teenagers grow distant. Maybe they’re just worried about you. The only way that they can trust you is if you earn their trust. Make sure you do all your responsibilities and listen to your parents and then they would start to trust you with everything. You’ll definitely have more freedom if they believe you’re responsible.

Rejected by Education:

“I got my highschool results and I wasn’t accepted into Brooklyn Technical Highschool. I feel as if I did try my best but it wasn’t good enough. I thought of seeking other highschools but any other highschools did not have the same programs. It was very hard to deal with it. It was not the fact that I didn’t get accepted into a school that hurt the most, I was scared of telling my parents. I feel as if I let everybody down including myself. I was a little bit over confident of the test. I tried cram to get in and I let myself down.”

-Ann Wen, Joseph B. Cavallaro

My Advice: When you’re talking about education it’s mostly based on the students performance. If you perform at your highest level you would succeed whereever you go. It is not the end of the world. Just keep your grades high and many other substantial schools will accept you. In order to succeed you must believe in yourself, do you think one test really tells you who you are? As of telling your parents explain to them that you feel as if you let them down also. Also, explain to them that whatever highschool you get into you will try hard and succeed no matter what. However, you do not need your parents approval 100% of the time, although it’s important.

Rejected by A Teacher:

“A teacher was telling me how I was a failure. She was telling me that just because I looked a certain way. And just because I wanted to go to a specific highschool, John Dewey, that I was a failure. Another teacher of the same department told me that I was a failure. I was feeling very upset because they shouldn’t judge me just because of the way I look. They shouldn’t be judging me just because of my education choice. I felt a little insecure that maybe they were right and I was a failure. I feel as if I can try harder. But I still do try, I guess I just got a little lazy. I feel as if even though I did not try that hard, they shouldn’t call me a failure.”

-Michell Argus, Joseph B. Cavallaro

My Advice: Don’t listen to peoples beliefs, if you know who you are then express yourself. What other people believe shouldn’t affect what you believe. Prove them wrong. As you said, you know you could try harder. However, you don’t have to prove yourself to other people. The only person you should be struggling against is yourself. In your mind you want to hear, better better better. Remember, if you don’t try to reach your goals there is a 0% of succeeding.

Rejected by a Friend:

“In seventh grade I met this girl in Vocal Music Class. I enjoyed talking to her and I asked her for her instant messaging name, Aol Instant Messenger. I felt as if we had a good relationship from then on we got much closer. When people found out that we had this relationship, she didn’t want to talk to me anymore. It became awkward being near her since she didn’t feel the same way about me. She called me names and made fun of my acne. Next time, I’ll choose better friends.”

-Jordan Ortiz, Joseph B. Cavallaro

My Advice: Sometimes people are insecure about themselves that they depend too much on what other people believe. The girl most likely did feel the same about you but need to “cover” herself by ignoring you. When you choose your friends you have to notice how they act around you in public and through communication services. However she was obviously not a real friend. A friend who won’t stick up for you when your down is no friend at all. However, having this happen to you is a benefit because you can now learn from your mistake. Pick yourself up and make sure people like you for who you are all around, not only what you are online.

There are obviously more forms of rejection those are just common types. Here comes the next question, How can you tell when someone feels that way and help them?

If a person is not aggressive, does not speak up, does not encourage others, privately expresses their anger or depression, and are dishonest with themselves are most likely affected by the fear of rejection. In shorter terms, people who don’t express themselves physically, orally, and emotionally most likely fear the reactions of others. Usually, the people they are scared to be rejected by easily used by the person. This actually causes the person to be rejected once they are “used”.

To help a friend who fears rejection, or has been rejected, find out what makes them happy. When you find alternate patterns of behavior that makes them happy encourage it to happen more. This includes games, activities, clubs, etc.

Remember, if you’re scared of being rejected don’t be scared of telling someone. Don’t let the hurt of rejection hurt you!