MGJH HP Hour 1

Happy Meets Paris

By: Sarah, Jenna, Kiersten, and Ellen

Once upon a time a long, long time ago in a little town called Deer River there lived a lovely hippo. She always sported a great orange, fluffy tutu.

One day, Paris Hilton came to Deer River. The hippo in the orange, fluffy tutu was thrilled that a star would arrive to this little town in a wonderful car called the Heiressmobile. O on that fateful day, the hippo went to the town square where Paris Hilton would be making her appearance. She stepped through the big, metal gates and BEHOLD!! Paris Hilton, right there, in front of her very own hippo-like eyes!

She tried yelling "Can I have your autograph?!?" But the roar of the huge crowd drowned her voice out

Paris spoke into the microphone, "Ahem," she said, "I would like to start my speech now if you don't mind. Ladies, gentlemen," she glared evilly at the hippos scattered throughout the crowd, "And hippos, I have a very important announcement to make. I find it necessary to tell this to all small towns like yours. The issue I have come to talk about is a serious one," Paris stated, "I, many of my famous friends, and some not-so-famous ones too, have joined together to support a cause, a great cause of eliminating... hippos." The hippos in the crowd gasped and looked nervously at each other. "As I was saying, hippos are a great threat to our country. They are like, so huge; they could crush us all in a second. So, you members of Deer River shall destroy any hippo you may come across," Paris said excitedly.

Anger built up in the hippo in the orange, fluffy tutu. Paris had no right to do that. She tried shouting over the crowd, "That's not fair! Hippos have rights too!" but her only plan failed.

Paris continued, "Therefore, we shall live a peaceful life without nasty hippos," the crowd went wild, "Or like, cheap perfume!" The ladies of the crowd gasped. How could they go a day without their perfume? Their fancy lilac scent would be demolished! "Well, obviously it's a prized possession of the hippos, and you don't want to be like them, do you? Plus, it'll make you break out. You should really buy my new signature scent instead, it's called PARIS! You can get a free smell of it at your local Stacy's store!"

"NO WE DO NOT!" The crowd roared in unison, unsure if their decision was the right one.

"Like, no more hippos and PARIS perfume for all!" Paris yelled vigorously. The crowd went crazy as Paris spun around revealing that the back of her hot pink shirt had "Anti-Hippos Group" written across it. The hippo in the tutu stomped into the parking lot, she was furious! How could she say such vulgar things?!?

"Calm down," she thought to herself, "I'll go for a walk by the canyon and cool down."

Nearby, Ms. Hilton was taking a stroll to see if she could find any hippos; she decided to check the deep canyon, the easiest possible hiding place for those big, fat hippos. She strutted with great confidence and looked down the edge of the cliff.

Meanwhile, the hippo in the tutu's walk was making her even angrier at what Paris had said. She reached the cliff and stopped suddenly in shock, could that be? Yes, the hot pink shirt and blonde hair was unmistakably Paris'. Her anger boiled over at the sight of Paris, and without thinking, she ran with all her might and shoved Paris right over the edge of the cliff.

The last words of Paris were, "That's not hot...."

"Huh", the hippo gasped after realizing what she had done. The world's most beloved heiress was just violently pushed off a cliff to her death by none other than herself. Nervously, the hippo ran back to her house, how could she have done something so horrific just a few minutes ago?

Suddenly she heard screams from the town.

"Paris Hilton! Paris is dead!" the emergency bell in the town hall sounded.

The hippo, knowing that she couldn't stay in town without being discovered, quickly packed her bags and ran into the woods.

She heard a yell from behind her,"I think I see a hippo!"

The hippo ran as fast as her short, stubby legs could carry her. She ran ad ran until she got to the deepest, most mysterious part of the forest. "How long can this go on?" she thought to herself. She decided to keep walking a little longer, even though she had an intense burning pain in her legs. She waddled for a while and then she came across a small town called Forestville. She went to a small friendly looking cottage and knocked on the door. A little old hippo wearing a fuchsia sombrero answered the door.

"Oh my goodness, my gosh! I must have crossed the border into Mexico," the hippo in the tutu exclaimed.

"No deary pie, you're still in Nunavut. I just collect sombreros, they're rather festive don't you think. What's your name? I'm Lauren," said the old hippo.

"My name is Happy Dancing Hippo in the Orange fluffy tutu. You can call me happy for short. Listen, I need some help. Paris has or any of her representatives come to the town yet?" Happy asked.

"No. Why?" Lauren asked as she gestured Happy into her home. .

"Well that's good. Anyway, she wants people to kill hippos, but I kind of accidentally killed Paris Hilton! So, I need a place to stay. I know we just met, but could you let me stay here for a while?" Happy pleaded.

"Oh yes, you can stay with me! You can live in the guest room by the laundry room. No one ever goes there anymore, only my kitty, snickers," Lauren offered and led Happy down a pale pink hallway. "Here's the room, enjoy! I hope it's not too shabby for your modern likings."

"It's perfect!" Happy smiled thankfully and placed her belongings on a nightstand. She scanned the mint green room and relaxed. She knew that nobody would find her here. Happy was anxious to get this situation off her mink, so she went to bed.

The next morning, Happy woke to loud yells outside of the little cottage. Wondering, she ran to the window and saw many angry people chanting and waving signs that said "No Hippos!" in the air. The hippo in the tutu gasped; she hoped that they wouldn't find her! Suddenly, Happy remembered Lauren.

"Lauren! Lauren!" Happy called out. She heard no reply. Happy ran out of the little room and saw Lauren looking out the kitchen window at the chaos outside. "What is going on? I think these are those fans of Paris! They will kill me!"

"Oh I won't let them! They can't," Lauren stated firmly. Happy hoped Lauren would stand up to her promise. "We need to stop this! I'm going out there and tell them all that they're crazy! Hippos have always been good citizens, even better than humans most of the time. I have never heard of a hippo smashing a human! I'm going to stand up," Lauren boldly declared and stormed out of the cottage before Happy could try to stop her.

Not wanting to risk being caught, Happy decided to watch from the window. She saw Lauren push her way through the crowds. When Lauren reached a statue of a doctor, she climbed up on it and yelled,

"Quiet! I need to speak!" Instantly, the crowd's roar became lessened. Lauren stood up tall and spoke to the crowd. "Hippos are not bad. I do not know why Paris Hilton thought that they were! I think it's crazy! Do you really want to listen to Britney Spears' friend anyway? Maybe Paris told Britney to shave her head! I don't really know, and I don't really care. Paris Hilton doesn't know anything compared to the population of this town! I know that most people would've stood up for us hippos if it was George Foreman or someone weird like that supporting the anti-hippo action. I mean, just because Paris is a star doesn't mean she's right! Do you hear me?" Lauren rallied.

"We all hear you loud and clear," the crowd yelled back in unison. They exchanged uneasy glances amongst each other.

"So why continue this absurd riot?" Lauren preached, "You all should know better than to give in to peer pressure, or celebrity pressure!"

A little old man with a beard cried out, "If you want us to stop, prove to us that hippos are such moral citizens!"

"Yeah!" all the protestors screamed. Happy watched from inside, waiting to see what Lauren would do. She only hoped that Lauren would be okay.

"Ok then! I will, and with much ease," Lauren stated firmly and plainly. She climbed down from the statue and walked up to a little boy who looked to be about ten. "Little boy, what is your opinion on hippos?"

"They're cool. My friend is a hippo. He's really good at video games," the boy said with a confused look on his face, "Does that prove that you are good citizens?"

"Not really," Lauren answered, "But it shows us that even the youngest people think of us well. I always happen to keep this on me." Lauren pulled out a sheet of paper from her pocket and unfolded it. She showed it to the crowd.

"What is that?" the old man cried.

"This is an official document that states that hippos have donated ninety-two-million dollars to local charities within the last year. It also says that humans have donated twenty-six thousand dollars to local charities within the last year! We are such good citizens," Lauren said boldly and looked the old man right in the eye,
Take that! I may be old but I sure know what I'm doing! Now, do you all love us hippos?"

"Oh yeah! We love hippos now that we know that you are helping our town function more properly! We would all die and be confused without you guys!" the crowd cheered in unison.

"It's so weird how they all talk in unison," Happy mumbled to herself as she continued to watch the scene unfold.

"Now, will you stop this rampage?" Lauren asked the crowd as she shoved the paper back into her pocket and pushed her sombrero away from her face.

"Oh yes! We will love hippos forever!" the crowd roared in unison again and they all dropped their signs at the same time.

"Finally!" Lauren gasped exhaustedly. She then turned and leaped into the crowd. The whole crowd caught her and then cheered loudly. They passed Lauren on from one group of people to the next. Lauren was crowd-surfing like a rock star. Happy ran outside and hugged Lauren after the crowd set her down.

"Thank you Lauren! How did you do that?" Happy asked the wrinkly hippo.

"I took a class on persuasive speaking," Lauren said coolly, "It's no big deal, honey. Would you like some hot cocoa?"

"Sure!" Happy exclaimed cheerily and followed Lauren back into the cottage where Lauren made some cocoa.

Ever since that day, Lauren and Happy have been best friends and now travel the world telling their story about Paris Hilton. They have faced a few law suits, but have always overcome them. Happy got married a few months later to a handsome hippo named Steve. In a sense, you could say they lived happily ever after.