|
|
Figgy Emu Monarchs
December 18, 2007 - 10:55am — kopele
By Sasha and Erin Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a pig called Charlie and a little Princess named Virginia. They had only two things in common. They lived in the same kingdom (on opposite ends, of course), and they were both on eternal quests for their favorite food, figgy pudding. Charlie was a common pig with no family and few friends. Charlie now spent most of his time wandering the kingdom, trying to locate the one trustworthy person to whom his mother’s delicious figgy pudding recipe had been given before she passed. Virginia was a rich and spoiled little girl. Her private tutors had declared her hopeless, and instead of attempting to teach her, they sent her outside to do as she pleased. Because she couldn’t get enough figgy pudding, Princess Virginia now spent all of her days searching the kingdom for the perfect recipe. One warm and sunny day in the spring, Charlie and Virginia met on the green brick road (which lead to the castle) while they were on their quests. “This road looks like it is made of brussel sprouts. Ewwwww!!!” declared Princess Virginia. At the same time, Charlie snorted, “This road looks delicious.”“AHHHHH!!!!! A talking emu! Daddy help!!!” the princess screamed. “Excuse me, but I am not an emu. I’m a pig,” replied Charlie, whose father had been turned into the royal family’s Christmas dinner the year before. “What’s a pig?” inquired Her Royal Highness.“Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of The Three Little Pigs!?!” “Do you mean The Three Little Emus? Daddy tells me that story all the time. He raises emus like you in his stables.”“What?!?!?!? I don’t look anything like an emu! Emus are huge, flightless birds. Pigs are mammals!” Charlie was getting angry. “They’re both hideous. Same difference.” “I AM NOT AN EMU!!!!”“Then you must be a frog! Are you one of the frogs that is really a prince in disguise? Because that’s how my sister met Prince Charming. I’m going to have to kiss you to check, I think.”“Ewwwww! No! Gross! Please don’t! I’m begging you!” pleaded the pig. But, despite Charlie’s protests, Virginia gave him a kiss on the cheek. Then, something began to happen. Charlie began to transform. A puffy cloud of smoke billowed up, surrounding Charlie, and when it finally cleared, the pig was gone! Standing in his place, there was an emu. “Ahhh! An elephant!!” “Aww, darn it! Now I can’t eat slop any more! I HATE YOU!!!” Charlie yelled at Virginia, who began to sob uncontrollably. “What did I say?” Charlie asked, obviously discomforted by her tears. Suddenly, he gasped. “Hey!! Look, a frog!” Virginia looked up to see a giant pig prancing down the green brick road. “FOLLOW THAT FROG!!” they both shouted simultaneously. Running along behind the pig, they followed it across the kingdom, until, finally, it stopped. Looking around, they suddenly noticed something that looked very out of place. It was a giant cauldron made of gorgonzola cheese, and it was filled to the brim with figgy pudding! “YAY!!! Figgy pudding!” Virginia screeched. Charlie didn’t say anything, he just dove right in. Without a moment’s hesitation, Virginia followed suit. That bubbling cauldron of happiness was the nemesis that led to Charlie and Virginia’s delicious doom. The End
|
|
|
Editorials
